Cocoa is a Legume

I lost 10 pounds, which is a big visual difference on my frame.

That wasn’t enough to keep me from going and getting the Starbucks Coconutmilk Mocha Macchiato on day one of reintroduction, though.

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Life is short. Arguably too short to go around one’s whole life pretending one doesn’t know what the alluring brown coating on cupcakes, morsels speckled in the cookie dough and sauce dripping down the sides of clear coffee cups is.

It’s not like I really broke any rules, anyway. They do say to reintroduce what you want, skip the things you don’t want yet, and to be careful not to mix up any groups when reintroducing. Aside from whatever dairy might be in Starbucks’ chocolate sauce, I didn’t have dairy, only added sugars.

Besides, cocoa is a legume, anyway!

As per instructed, I’m watching what is going on in my body carefully.

First observation: total lack of remorse. That shit’s damn tasty! My cousin was right—worth every single gram of sugar.

Second observation: my sweet tooth is completely sated. I ordered a grande and I don’t want anything else chocolate or sweet. We walked past the Easter candy in the grocery store. Nothin’.

Here’s something nifty! When I had my first sip of the kind of coffee beverage I’ve been missing the past 32 days, it was oral euphoria. I realized that when I was drinking Starbucks every day, it was out of habit. I was searching for this specific flavor complex that it just wasn’t possible to find, probably because I’d become so used to it that the flavors were no longer a surprising treat to my taste buds. Rather, this had become a routine meeting. Coffee, Sugar, Cream, good morning. Now, down the hatch and let’s wake this girl up.

This time around, I didn’t devour the whole drink within five minutes. I savored it. I was consciously grateful for every sip so that when I got to the last one, I didn’t feel like I needed to get more to enjoy it. I already had. Completely.

I’ve decided Starbucks and similar flavoring in my home coffee will be a treat. And not for if my day was difficult, or because I did something I’m proud of. But just a sort of, Yeah, I want that flavor and I’m going to give it to myself sort of thing. Not a reward. A treat.

So it turns out that on the first official day of reintroduction, I only wanted to reintroduce the coffee I’ve missed and “couldn’t have.” A very mental thing. Broken.

Back to two days of Whole30 eatin’.

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