The Self-Starver

If you’re a friend or family member, you might be aware that I love to give things up. Makeup, social media, showering; You name it, I’ve at least thought of letting it go for a month or more.

Well, starting today, I’m giving up—all at once, cold turkey—added sugar, grains and legumes, dairy and alcohol (yes, it does feel like everything) for a minimum of 30 days. It’s part of the Whole30 “diet” program.

There are a ton of reasons I’m excited to be on this journey.

For instance, I woke up with an itchy body from scalp to sole, like almost every other day. Today isn’t the kind where I want to unzip my skin, put it in a tub and scrub off the first few layers, nor is it the kind of morning where I wake up and my joints feel as if I am the tin man before a good oiling. It’s a more standard day, just plain uncomfortable.

The yoga poses I love to do are becoming difficult to do because of extra flesh and, in fact, I think I’m nearing the weight I was almost a decade ago. I was newly out of a relationship that I allowed to transform me into a couch worshipping hot-pocket-eating woman technically on the verge of obesity, so even if I’m not quite at that weight, the perception that I feel that way (and that my clothes are shrinking) is way more than enough motivation.

Then there’s the fact that I don’t take ibuprofen, migraine, or allergy medicine daily as doctors have suggested I do to mask my issues.

I’m also 31 and not real sure I want to have this thing called cystic acne painfully and semi-regularly bubbling up beneath the same two or three pores. It’s something new to pop up and I’ve been told that usually that sort of reaction stems from something internal.

But, mostly I’m starting on this journey because I’ve been contemplating an elimination diet for probably a decade or more.

The short of it’s this: As a person who loves super sweet coffees, exotic ice cream concoctions, stout beers, cheese everything and food in general, the self-torture should be fun for you to watch. I’ll be documenting daily. Changes in health, emotions, some pro tips, resentments, recipes, cravings, and possibly some suicide notes.

Wheeeeee! This rope made of bedsheets is fun to swing on!

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