The Plan to Have No Plan

Here’s how it’s going to go. . .

That’s probably what gets me in trouble a lot, right there. Thinking I have no plan when I have it mapped out step-by-step, line-by-line. Nonetheless here it is:

The plan is to not do it like everyone else. Which is a scary decision while at one of the most competitive and expensive universities in the nation. Then again, I do not know why it should be so frightening. I’ve never done things the way everyone else does, anyway.

College after high school? Nah. How about when I’m 30?

So here it is that time of year, and I’m hearing all the internship and job offer talk of my younger peers who are just a semester ahead of me. CNN, CBS, NBC, the L.A. Times, the New York Times, The Wrap, Huffington Post. . . the list of past and present internships and job offers goes on. Yet I haven’t done a single internship. I haven’t applied for any jobs.

And I don’t plan to.

It’s an almost heart-stopping decision at times. What am I saying? What am I doing?

What I’m saying is that I know myself well enough to understand that I feel happiness is more important than possessions, or the image of what society has said “wealth” looks like.

I’m not dissing money. I love money. I really do. But the thing is that on my own, I don’t want to be tied to a single property that I can barely afford any time soon, in a city I’m not sure I’ll love by the time I’m finished paying for it. I don’t want my future kids to go to public or private school. I want to be their teacher and I want the world to be their class room. I just don’t want the life so many others around me seem to want. I just want to explore. And photograph those moments. And write about them.

So what I’m doing is making a conscious decision to be self-employed and a writer. It might be difficult at first. But I know I won’t be happy doing anything else as a profession. And what is life for if it isn’t for enjoying, learning, and loving?

 

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